If you’re anything like me (and if you are, you have my condolences), you are devoid of that O.S.P. or that Open Settlement Protocol, which is basically a protocol that maintains your access to accounting and data usage and -.

LOL JK. Just a prank, bro. It means that One Special Person.

This isn’t a generalisation of someone you love because you should always have many of those in your life. That O.S.P. is the person who is there for you for the sake of wanting to be with you because they understand you. It’s not always out of a romantic angle or an obligation but they enjoy your presence because they understand you’re a good person who needs to have someone talk to every now and then. This can be a boyfriend/girlfriend if you met someone you could empathise with and vice versa, it could be a close family member. Or it could be that random dude you ended up sitting next to in class who just happened to empathise with you and your problems more than your identical twin can.

When bottled with all the emotions, it is really important to vent and just let off some steam. However, it is important you are letting it out in the correct environment. Don’t pour boiling water into a sieve, pour it into a mug. It’s the best way to make tea, trust me. The people you talk to about all the things that matter to you end up being some of the most influential people in your life. They’ll either make tea with that boiling water or get hurt and maybe even hurt you. I say influential, ‘cos the influence can be good or bad. For example, if you were to tell someone that you didn’t want to go to a party because you didn’t know anyone there and you were worried that you would look out of place and get judged, ideally you would want the friend to understand and take one of the following options:

  • your friend agrees to stay with you and go watch a movie or something
  • your friend goes to the party himself/herself and promises to hang out with you tomorrow, while you go back to your place and watch your favourite TV show
  • your friend promises to never leave your side during the party, while s/he fully commits to that promise

These, in my wholehearted opinion, are some of the most comforting and reassuring responses to receive from someone regarding this problem, I daresay I wish I could hear these responses sometimes in my own life. The friend understands that the scenario is not playing to your strengths and realises you’re backing out because you need to not because you want to. At the very least, s/he knows that you can be a mess on your own sometimes and promises not to leave you.

There is, however, the alternate response, which resembles something like, “Don’t be a p*ssy, just suck it up, it’ll be over before you know it.” Now, that right there, is not nice, like, seriously, you have no idea how much I  don’t appreciate that. This problem I have isn’t something I turn off or on, that’s why it’s a problem! And if it was like a switch, why would I ever turn it on?! Unfortunately, we live in a society where from a young age, the opinions of others is a great deal of importance to people. We live in an age of social media where we posts photos for likes and messages for re-tweets. More often than not, the socially awkward and fearful people are the ones who never get any likes or re-tweets. It feeds us a message that because we’re ignored on social media, we’ll be belittled in real life, too.

Just because you have friends who are a hit on social media, doesn’t mean that’s the way for you to go. The key to success isn’t hitting all the clubs (not that I know what the key to success is). Though, I can say that tackling these problems can only come with a first step. That first step is to tell this “friend” that you do not want to go to this party and that you shouldn’t want to just because they want to. Before trying to gain the respect of others, show a little to yourself. That’s what true bravery is.

Finding that O.S.P. is hard. Actually, talking to people in general is hard. You need to form a foundation so strong that whatever is built can’t break, ever. The trust needs to be there because this problem you have isn’t trivial to you and the person you share with needs to be totally comprehensive about it. To this day, I don’t think I have found that person yet. That’s why I’m writing this blog. I’m looking for that O.S.P.

We’re all human beings who deserve happiness. That word is thrown around for granted, too. One person’s definition of happiness differs from another. The most important thing is to love yourself and your happiness and respect other people’s happiness. If you respect what makes you happy, you’ll learn that you don’t need the approval of your 1031 Facebook friends to be happy. And if you respect what makes other people happy, you’ll be able to live in a world with them and they will respect you. Who knows? Maybe you’ll become their One Special Person…

Author: HotCocoaAndPotatoSalad

real talk

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