I’m totally using you guys as a distraction, again. It’s only bee like two hours. Did no work since then. But I’m really starting to hate my course now. In a couple of years, when I look back, I’m going to remember this night as the night when I realised the culmination of all my decisions in academia ultimately led to my being distraught out of my mind. But I will remember it more as the night I realised how much this blog means to me.
I’m going to talk about relationships. I’m not going to give hard-selling advice (I don’t want to render everyone single within 24 hours!) but just my thoughts on how to maintain the relationship and how to deal with heartbreak. You want to learn how to pick up girls or guys , find some guru on YouTube and relay the advice to me.
I pray all of you are lucky enough to already be with someone you care about and you are already doing everything you can to make sure they will stay with you. I can’t speak a lot from experience but I can safely say that having really strong feelings for someone special is worth everything up and down you encounter if it means s/he is still with you at the end of the day. The ups and downs can be small and big things, maybe petty arguments or maybe huge shifts in the seriousness of the relationship. The easiest and simplest way to handle this is deal with it as it comes. It may not appeal to the ones who actually want to have some sort of control over their relationship but controlling a relationship doesn’t make it healthy, at least not in my opinion. You can’t expect your special someone to agree with you all of the time and s/he will not always agree with you. The trust will set in naturally once you both start making decisions and you both respect each others’ decisions. The more you do that, who knows? Maybe you will end up admiring the others way of thought. The relationship will move on from more than just a physical attraction or a non-serious encounter but ascend to emotional and spiritual harmony. It epitomises the idea of “two halves becoming one”.
This is the part where I’m going to go full out. Being someone with social anxiety, relationships have always been a tough spot for me. It’s hard trying to impress someone when you’re always constantly scared of talking to other people about what the time is, let alone let them know you really like them. I’m going to refer to one situation, not any of my relationships, but one of my crushes. I’ve talked about the two crushes I’ve had in my life, both were one hell of an experience. I’m going to focus on the second one, the one that caught me off guard. I’ve talked about it before, in my earlier posts.
Maybe sometimes you’re not ready to be in love, let alone just be in a casual relationship. That is pretty standard for a confident person, who likes to have some fun with a partner before trying the love area. It makes for a good foundation by getting to know the person deeper. It’s complicated for a person with social anxiety to be in a casual relationship as making friends and getting to know them is hard so dabbling in romance and spontaneity becomes quite the task. But what do you do when you see someone stunning, funny charming and you’ve only known them for like a week? There’s no foundation, this freaking castle just materialised out of nothing. You weren’t prepared for it and these feelings terrified you. They terrified you when you were alone in your room and definitely anytime you were with said person. The main reason, for me at least, is that you felt it was easier to just be a friend. After everything you’ve been through, heartbreak is the last thing you need over the lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. You needed some friends just to help you stand up.
When you’re with someone special, that person is going to be your rock. They will support you in times of strife and shield you from pain. Do anything for that rock. Once it vanishes, the troubles become harder. No petty reasons can justify losing it. Do anything for that person if it means they’re by your side at the end of the day, smiling at you.
If you can’t be with someone special, your friends are your rock. Learn to appreciate the relationships you already have, the ones you can go to for a laugh or just to talk. Do anything for them and soon, being just a friend to that special person will be enough for you. Now, that isn’t to say to abandon love. Grab what you deserve if you truly want it. But sometimes, you may not be ready to be in love. When your heart aches after looking at someone and you just can’t handle it, remember that there’s always friendship. Heartache will turn to warmth when you can just hang around with those special people at the school cafeteria or at the park. Like a family. Love doesn’t have to mean heartache, it can be the beginning of something good, though maybe not in the way you expect.
Good night, you potatoes. Enjoy the cocoa. 🙂