Being in a constant state of anxiety has most people constantly feeling scared, nervous or sceptical. Being around lots of people will have you squirming uncomfortably where you stand and receiving compliments will leave you second guessing whether or not they were being sarcastic. It feels like an impossible task to feel satisfied or happy when you’re in this constant state of mind.
So, I am going to try and list all the moments when, at least I, feel good in my everyday life. No inappropriate jokes please, I’m a 14 year old child in the body of a 20-something year old, I’ll giggle like a school child.
1. Getting a good grade.
Not a deep point but for all the people out there who still take exams and constantly feel inferior to your classmates, this one works wonders for confidence. If you’re like me and constantly find yourself on the string of successive exam failures, you start to think you’re doing something wrong with your life. It’s obvious that you have no idea what you’re doing and you’re confused as to what your next step is. Getting a good grade in an exam is the best way to counter this. Sounds easier said than done but it will take commitment. Another tip is to work with someone. It should be someone who you consider a close friend so you can be yourself when you study. And for those of you who are lacking in that department, find someone in the same subject/course to work with. You may find it weird to work with someone who hasn’t developed a connection with you yet, but at this point it’s important to think about yourself. You can’t allow what others will think to get in the way of the good grade you need. Just call the person or meet them and say, “Yeah, so I’m gonna fail this exam at this point. Do you mind if I work with you?” Hopefully, the sympathy card will get you a study buddy! (I recently did this myself and I was so confident going into the exam, so I can say firsthand it works!
2. Getting a text from a friend
It doesn’t even have to be an invitation. It could just be a, “How’s it going?” and there is nothing more satisfying than receiving that kind of text. The fact someone is taking time to find out how your stupid self is doing shows that this person is a good human being. Now, the case can be made that the text is sent out of duty and is not genuine. But seriously, at that point it doesn’t matter. Chances are you haven’t talked to anyone in a while and you need to have that communication with another person. At the end of the day, people like us are too scared of making the first move because we’re too scared or we don’t want to waste anyone’s time but when someone reaches out to us, they’ve done their job. The only thing left is for us to reach back. Make the conversation because they want to talk to you, showcase yourself because people do want to know you.
3. Doing something ‘mature’
No, guys, seriously, the jokes need to stop. Performing acts of responsibility are things that I myself struggle with a lot and often avoid doing. Someone who’s anxious around other people with a confusion at everyday tasks? Sounds like a child to me. Social anxiety can revert most people back to a child like state where you just want to lay in bed and watch cartoons all day instead of do the laundry because the other people will judge you when you can’t figure out whether to put in the conditioner before or after the detergent. To be able to do this requires a lot of will power by working with your own expectations. You need to tell yourself to do it, or in my case, wait until the laundry hamper overflows. Performing simple acts like doing the laundry or shopping for healthy diet foods or working for a good amount of time can give a personal sense of accomplishment and it feels a lot better when you live up to or exceed your own expectations rather than someone else’s.
4. Having a good conversation a loved one
There are times when you feel really demotivated. It may be because something happened at school or work or maybe you had an argument. This can often result in a state of despair where you think you are not worth your existence, you fell you can do nothing right and you let others down. At these times, the support of a loved one is vital because you need to in the moment to be able to share your troubles to make it easier. That’s why it hurts more when your loved one refuses to understand and may even belittle your predicament. Your conversation turns to argument and you feel stressed and isolated again. When you have a conversation with a parent or sibling of really close friend and they understand everything it reminds you that while you may not be the most popular at school or work, you have a relationship with someone else that means so much more than anything you’ll find there. If there’s ever a time where you argue with someone you care about, remember how much they mean to you. If they remember the same thing about you, then you have a relationship that can withstand anything.
I’ll probably do a continuation in the future. Truth be told, there a few instances where I find myself feeling completely happy. Sad thing is, there is always something nagging me everyday that makes me feel…well, you know. These are things I have experienced myself so I’ll let you know when I find some more.
Good night, you potatoes. Enjoy the cocoa. 🙂